The poop guy's back. Messaged me this morning:
Poop Guy: 'wow, I'd eat your poop if you ordered me to'.
Me: 'so you keep telling me'
Him: 'Oh sorry, I didn't realise I'd told you so many times'
Love means never having to say you're sorry. Faeces fetishists have to say sorry a lot I imagine.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Three Cross-Dressers & A 23 Year Old
When I first started internet dating I mistakenly thought you had to treat people with respect and care about their feelings. This isn't the case, as I have discovered by being ceremoniously ignored by people I thought seemed appealing and sent messages to. This is why I have found myself in contact with three cross dressers that I wouldn't have replied to had they been men with no desire to wear a dress of a Friday night and one 23 year old who is clearly insane.
Something about me screamed 'person who'd understand' at the three cross-dressers that contacted me. And in many respects they were right cos I love a man in a dress and make up as much as the next woman, just so long as the dress in question isn't a twin set from M&S. All three of the men who contacted me were middle-aged men who appeared to be wearing their dead mother's clothes. Or someone else's dead mother's clothes from Oxfam. Because I didn't want any of them to think I wasn't replying to them because of disgust for their lifestyle choice I now inadvertantly have 3 middle-aged cross dressing men as pen pals - Wendy, Yvonne and Paula. Wendy wants to know what I'm thinking all the time cos my profile picture makes me look 'lost in thought', I tell him that I'm thinking of love gone by, actually I'm thinking of a documentary I once saw about a woman who became like a mother to a community of cross dressing men and gave them fashion advice and threw wig parties and advised them on make up and relationships. I am wondering if I am a few stilletoed men away from becoming her myself.
Oh and the 23 year old. Here's how it went:
Him: 'hello, I'm not very confident, I don't usually contact people but I had to contact you, etc etc'
Me: oh what a shame, he's too young for me but he's not very confident so I'd better not ignore him 'hello, you're really sweet but I'm looking for someone more in their early thirties'
Him; 'oh how HILARIOUS, you think I want to DATE you! No no no no no no no NO. I don't want to in the slightest, I'm so amused that you thought this'
Me: 'um, sorry - I don't normally go around assuming men want to date me, quite the opposite but what with this being a dating site and all I misunderstood your message'
Him: 'Oh this is so funny cos you thought I wanted to date you and I don't, I mean you're THIRTY, ha ha ha ha, no way'
Me: 'thanks, keep telling me you don't want to date me, I'm enjoying it, it's like not being on a dating site and just being me in the world as I was anyway'
Him: 'ha ha ha ha ha, I so don't want to date you, I can't believe you thought that...anyway, would you like to go for a drink next week?'
Me: 'Oh go on then, you've pursuaded me...I mean, NO, no I really don't'
That's the last time I worry about anyone else's feelings ever again. Welcome to the new dawn of me online dating with no heart whatsoever. I'm going to be brutal. (It was suggested to me that I should have arranged to meet up with the 23 year old, not turned up and then messaged him to say 'oh you thought when I arranged to meet you that I wanted to MEET YOU? Ha ha ha, I can't believe you thought that, I so don't....' Wish I'd thought of this.)
When I first started internet dating I mistakenly thought you had to treat people with respect and care about their feelings. This isn't the case, as I have discovered by being ceremoniously ignored by people I thought seemed appealing and sent messages to. This is why I have found myself in contact with three cross dressers that I wouldn't have replied to had they been men with no desire to wear a dress of a Friday night and one 23 year old who is clearly insane.
Something about me screamed 'person who'd understand' at the three cross-dressers that contacted me. And in many respects they were right cos I love a man in a dress and make up as much as the next woman, just so long as the dress in question isn't a twin set from M&S. All three of the men who contacted me were middle-aged men who appeared to be wearing their dead mother's clothes. Or someone else's dead mother's clothes from Oxfam. Because I didn't want any of them to think I wasn't replying to them because of disgust for their lifestyle choice I now inadvertantly have 3 middle-aged cross dressing men as pen pals - Wendy, Yvonne and Paula. Wendy wants to know what I'm thinking all the time cos my profile picture makes me look 'lost in thought', I tell him that I'm thinking of love gone by, actually I'm thinking of a documentary I once saw about a woman who became like a mother to a community of cross dressing men and gave them fashion advice and threw wig parties and advised them on make up and relationships. I am wondering if I am a few stilletoed men away from becoming her myself.
Oh and the 23 year old. Here's how it went:
Him: 'hello, I'm not very confident, I don't usually contact people but I had to contact you, etc etc'
Me: oh what a shame, he's too young for me but he's not very confident so I'd better not ignore him 'hello, you're really sweet but I'm looking for someone more in their early thirties'
Him; 'oh how HILARIOUS, you think I want to DATE you! No no no no no no no NO. I don't want to in the slightest, I'm so amused that you thought this'
Me: 'um, sorry - I don't normally go around assuming men want to date me, quite the opposite but what with this being a dating site and all I misunderstood your message'
Him: 'Oh this is so funny cos you thought I wanted to date you and I don't, I mean you're THIRTY, ha ha ha ha, no way'
Me: 'thanks, keep telling me you don't want to date me, I'm enjoying it, it's like not being on a dating site and just being me in the world as I was anyway'
Him: 'ha ha ha ha ha, I so don't want to date you, I can't believe you thought that...anyway, would you like to go for a drink next week?'
Me: 'Oh go on then, you've pursuaded me...I mean, NO, no I really don't'
That's the last time I worry about anyone else's feelings ever again. Welcome to the new dawn of me online dating with no heart whatsoever. I'm going to be brutal. (It was suggested to me that I should have arranged to meet up with the 23 year old, not turned up and then messaged him to say 'oh you thought when I arranged to meet you that I wanted to MEET YOU? Ha ha ha, I can't believe you thought that, I so don't....' Wish I'd thought of this.)
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Foreys into internet dating 2010. I don't hold out much hope but I must fill this silence whilst I am being globally ignored somehow, plus I need material for poetry....here are two very different examples of the kind of messages a girl like me gets on dating sites from men. Who should I reply to?
This is William, 41, from New York, a Christian and in the Military.
'Hello how are you today? and how about your health? hope you are doing well, My Name Is William I am looking for a very pretty woman of love, caring, honest, matured, understanding, and of good character, then after going to your profile on this site i picked interest in you, so i will like you to know you better ...I'm looking for a relationship built on trust, love, communication, andhappiness. I want to grow old with someone I understand how a true relationship supposes to work. I know that nothing is perfect but there is a right and wrong way to love someone. I am also a simple person...i will like to hear from you soon William'
And from yes-its-me, 37, from London.
'wow.........i'd eat your poop if you ordered me too.'
It's a tough call....
This is William, 41, from New York, a Christian and in the Military.
'Hello how are you today? and how about your health? hope you are doing well, My Name Is William I am looking for a very pretty woman of love, caring, honest, matured, understanding, and of good character, then after going to your profile on this site i picked interest in you, so i will like you to know you better ...I'm looking for a relationship built on trust, love, communication, andhappiness. I want to grow old with someone I understand how a true relationship supposes to work. I know that nothing is perfect but there is a right and wrong way to love someone. I am also a simple person...i will like to hear from you soon William'
And from yes-its-me, 37, from London.
'wow.........i'd eat your poop if you ordered me too.'
It's a tough call....
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