Today I was feeling about as attractive as a turd with a fungal infection and was keeping my head down as I attempted to find clothes that fit my small, mishapen body when a guy serving me in one shop said
'you're looking very cool today' to which I said,
'thanks' and he said again
'very cool'
so I said
'thank you' again and he said
'where are you going?'
and I said
'home'
and he burst out laughing, shaking his head like this was ridiculous, like someone who looked like me should never go home, ever.
If anyone is interested in copying my unique and very cool style I should tell you that I was wearing a faded black skirt that I recently ripped twice and haven't repaired very well and a black hoody and was carrying a primark bag. My hair is about 8 years over due for a cut and dye and my eye make up was half way down my face due to rain. I was also limping as I seem to have developed arthritis in my old age.

Which brings me on to those tediously dull articles that you sometimes get in magazines where they stop people on the street and ask them where they got their clothes from. I find this such a ridiculously uninteresting concept that I feel compelled to read all these articles very carefully, a bit like how you can't help staring a car crash as you drive by even if it happen 4 hours ago and there is nothing left to see. I think what I'm waiting to read is someone saying, 'I can't actually remember where I got this from because it's just an item of clothing and doesn't mean that much to me in the grand scheme of life and if it doesn't matter to me - the person wearing it - then by god, why does it matter to you?' I find fashion so boring and ugly at the moment that I fail to see how anyone can get excited about shopping. The look at the moment seems to be a combination of bag lady, granny and the worse bits of the 80's and the 90's all together. Everyone looks a total state. Next time you are on your local high street, count the number of girls wearing a woollen granny hat and wonder how after many years of evolution and progress and youth being the ultimately worshipped ideal, how my friends, it came to this.....

Hello world, you thought you'd never hear from me again and unfortunately you were wrong. I'm back to blog and this time it's personal. I'm now 29, as of last week. I don't really care about this much but apparently it is quite conventional and normal and in fact, highly recommended by society, the media and like, history that you should get married, get a mortgage, earn a salary in double figures and produce some babies around this time before your eggs shrivel up and die of loneliness and malfunction. In the year since I last blogged I have been concentrating hard on not doing any of these things and I think my hard work has paid off. Here's a small run down of last years events..........I watched some films, developed arthritis of the brain, joined a band, left a band, wrote some poems, did some singing in the kitchen, wrote a verse of a song, walked in the countryside, watched people cry, listened to people talk, got a certificate or two to say I could do this some more if I wanted to, wrote a journal about this, read a some books, got a different job - I am trapped, joined an online dating site by mistake, left an online dating site because it is hell on earth, I went to a castle, I went to the sea, picked up a heart shaped pebble, thought to myself 'I know just the person I should give this to', didn't give it to them, watched some gigs, watched some relationship sagas unfold in front of me, I went back onto medication, back into therapy, that didn't work out, my counsellor suggested I go salsa dancing so I sacked her and went mad, I smashed my acr up a little, I took some photos, one of which was in an exhibition recently, I hired a personal trainer but have found that I am still fat, I don't think my personal trainer understands me as a concept, I changed my diet about 86 times but have found that my skin still itches and my back still hurts, my best friend is going travelling for a couple of months next week, I am going to concentrate on my career - a bit like when your marriage ends, my career is as a professional loner. Not really, well slightly - my career is going to be me as a highly creative person who doesn't have to look after other people all the time, I am going to buy a guitar and write the next verse of my song, by 2025 I will have got to the middle 8. I have done several other things too but they aren't important.