Today I was feeling about as attractive as a turd with a fungal infection and was keeping my head down as I attempted to find clothes that fit my small, mishapen body when a guy serving me in one shop said
'you're looking very cool today' to which I said,
'thanks' and he said again
'very cool'
so I said
'thank you' again and he said
'where are you going?'
and I said
'home'
and he burst out laughing, shaking his head like this was ridiculous, like someone who looked like me should never go home, ever.
If anyone is interested in copying my unique and very cool style I should tell you that I was wearing a faded black skirt that I recently ripped twice and haven't repaired very well and a black hoody and was carrying a primark bag. My hair is about 8 years over due for a cut and dye and my eye make up was half way down my face due to rain. I was also limping as I seem to have developed arthritis in my old age.

Which brings me on to those tediously dull articles that you sometimes get in magazines where they stop people on the street and ask them where they got their clothes from. I find this such a ridiculously uninteresting concept that I feel compelled to read all these articles very carefully, a bit like how you can't help staring a car crash as you drive by even if it happen 4 hours ago and there is nothing left to see. I think what I'm waiting to read is someone saying, 'I can't actually remember where I got this from because it's just an item of clothing and doesn't mean that much to me in the grand scheme of life and if it doesn't matter to me - the person wearing it - then by god, why does it matter to you?' I find fashion so boring and ugly at the moment that I fail to see how anyone can get excited about shopping. The look at the moment seems to be a combination of bag lady, granny and the worse bits of the 80's and the 90's all together. Everyone looks a total state. Next time you are on your local high street, count the number of girls wearing a woollen granny hat and wonder how after many years of evolution and progress and youth being the ultimately worshipped ideal, how my friends, it came to this.....