So, hands up who forgot it was my birthday this weekend? Yep, you know who you are. Slaps wrists all round. Actually, thanks to the wonderful world of Myspace loads of people were alerted to this great event and I had complete strangers wishing me a happy birthday literally in the street because of this. Random. This year so far has been weird, I haven't posted since January cos of many things - health trouble, boy trouble, band trouble, depression trouble, lack of news trouble (although as R always says 'you ALWAYS have so many hilarious tales to tell everytime I speak to you'). I got offered a new job, I think I'm turning it down tomorrow - it would mean money and responsibility and probably a self esteem boost. I'm only little, I can't cope with these things yet. God, I'm only 28. Next they'll be expecting me to buy a house, get married and have children. F**k that.

Anyhoo, big news 2007; I joined a band or a band joined me, I don't know which it is. I haven't done any kind of music since 2001. It is weird. I realise that I am essentially really lazy. I turn up each week to band practice having done nothing inbetween and they expect me to start singing. WOAH. I have been retired for 6 years - take it easy on me. The first few weeks they found my singing off the top of my head thing amusing but you can't keep singing about rabid cocks and beans on toast forever. Oneday you need to commit to an emotional theme and actual sentences and go with it. Last week I wrote an actual verse with music and played it to my band, they sat there with their mouths open afterwards. Those 4 lines said more about my current mental state than a years psychoanalysis, I'm not sure they were ready for it. A bit like bringing your therapist on your second date to fill your new boyfriend in on your general issues. A bit like that second date also being at the colonic irrigation clinic. Oh well, maybe they just couldn't believe how shit I am at playing the guitar. Probably the latter. I love my new bandmates tho - they rule. We all have vaginas - it's going to be brilliant, if I can just write a second verse.

Happy New Year, Dream Kittens Everywhere

This year I am bringing crazy back - I have already started as I mean to go on. With much gin, lesbinaism and being chased out of a party by a crazed American girl screaming 'fuck off out of my house you little whore' or words to that effect. It was the best new year I'd had in ages. How was everyone elses? I had a crap Christmas though and was thoroughly relieved it was over - went to Leciester, city of my goth-stalking days and stayed in my grandmother's freezing cold, dusty house. Only good thing about Christmas was my brother giving me GnR Greatest Hits and being able to rock out to all the memories on every car journey I have been on since. (Incidentily GnR almost got me arrested last year when A, M and me drove out to a secluded spot we like by the gas works in town and spent a steamy hour trying to record Sweet Child O Mine into A's phone so that when I call her she will hear me singing our fav GnR tune. The recording session was proving more difficult than we'd anticipated - A's phone kept making me sound like Barry White, it was all very funny until the Police turned up, told me we were trespassing and proceeded to search my car for drugs - what are the chances?! They didn't find any because I don't tend to store narcotics in my glove compartment. M had an ounce of something or other on him but for some reason they weren't concerned with our actual bodies so let us go). That's it for today, I have stuff on my mind I am trying to avoid thinking about and the time has come to stop writing this and deal with it. Hope everyone is happy and stuff - see you all soon.