I'm so bored I could vomit out my brains and then eat them and then vomit them out again and then...you get my drift. Today I have been tearing stuff off my walls and ruthlessly throwing cds out - I thought I had some great music in my cd collection but last night my eye fell upon a Linkin Park album and things have not been going well since. I blame university, I aquired a worrying amount of nu metal whilst I was there. I could try and console myself with the fact that this was 1998-2001 and the beginning of the genre and it probably seemed cool and edgy at the time but I don't know if I believe myself. So now I have detoxed my music collection of nu metal and I have a large box containing aforementioned L****n P**k cd, Papa Roach, Lostprophets etc etc and I will go and distribute them amoungst the homeless tomorrow. Or something, I don't really know what. The good news is that I have never purchased anything that Fred Durst has been involved in so I'm not totally unsavable.

So did everyone see Courtney Love on Jonothan Ross on Friday? I caught most of it after stumbling in from an evening out - I think she was pretty marvelous, a true survivor. She was more or less together and coherent and intelligent. I loved the fact she admits she still falls for troubled, artistic men that are a mess. Join the fucking club...I was hoping to grow out of it but if Courtney Love can't do it then I sure as hell won't! JC however was an arsehole, as always - apparently before the show Juliette Lewis invited him to her gig the next day but after he'd been interviewed and was a total tit about Americans and the environment and all that bollocks no one backstage spoke to him so he figured the gig offer was off. I can't type his actual name cos my good friend works for him and gave me this info confidentially and don't want to get her into trouble but you all know who I'm talking about.

Have just finished listening to Sharon Osbourne reading her autobiography on audio cd. Not something I would have purchased myself but my brother works in a bookshop and gets lots of freebies - now there's another woman who's lived a life. I must bloody do something with my life, I do try but things always come to a full stop after a while. I'm doing a course at the moment, retraining again, but I had a confidence knock last week and now I don't even know if I'm doing the right thing anymore. I keep planning really interesting photography projects and then losing interest half way through. Agh. I think I may have attention deficit disorder. Attention deficit disorder but no nu metal cds on display - horah. Any ideas for a life/career change, you know where to write it...

Raining. Nothing happening. Send events. Stop.

So I was going to leave retail before Christmas but then I didn't get around to it so here I am yet again wrapping up Christmas decs for people and pretending to be impressed when people say to me proudly after purchasing something 'well, that's all my Christmas shopping done!' and then look at me expectantly for fucks knows what really - a mexican wave? A round of applause? A celebratory hug? I mean really, is it really something to be proud of? I would probably rate saving a kitten's life or travelling to Africa to build mud huts for orphened swans or organsing your underwear drawer more highly than completing your Christmas shopping at the start of November. But we are a deluded brain washed society with our priorities all scuwiff. My pet peeve with Christmas shoppers at the moment is not simply that they exist at all but the sheer amount of plastic bags they use. It seems to be a regular thing that not only will people say they would like a bag when you ask them, despite clearly carrying about a dozen others but that they would also like some spare bags to put the items they have just bought in and give to people as presents. This is amazing on two levels - the first being that environmentally this is shockingly careless and ignorant and secondly - that they think a shop plastic carrier bag is actually special enough to use as a gift bag for someone! I feel that if you don't care about presentation that much then just give the gifts as they are or in newspaper. Hell, just drive by the recipiants house and fling said items at their front door covered in faeces, it amounts to the same message - I don't value you enough to warrent wrapping this for you nicely. A free environmentally damaging plastic bag is all you're worth to me. Happy Christmas.

By the way, I had to get rid of the fridge door cos people were starting to abuse it and be mean which is sad cos lots of your messages were really sweet and funny - thanks to everyone who wasn't an arsehole and used it for positive messages!