Appeal for models! I am in desperate need of a model or models for a photography project on beauty. If you wouldn't mind being photographed in an intimate way then I want to hear from you. I'm interested in people who don't consider themselves to be conventionally beautiful or have body parts/scars/birth marks that wouldn't be the usual focus for a photoshoot on beauty. I am doubtful that anyone will get back to me from this ad but it is worth a try as I have five weeks in which to do this project now and would appriciate help from anyone. For more info please leave me a message here.

Crap.

Well people, long time no blog so here's a quick round down of things you need to know. I'd like to kick off with the most important thing: don't go and see Minnie Driver on her currant UK tour unless you a) want to hear her desperately attempting to be accepted as a muscian by telling her life story, complete with many references and 'hilarious' jokes about all those years ago before she was a Hollywood actress getting dumped by Matt Damon live on tv, and used to shock! horror! Have band practice in her keyboard player's garage (4 real), in between every fecking song for like 3 hours a time until you want to eat your own facewith boredom. Come on Minnie, we all saw the Jonathan Ross interview - we know the story, get on with the set, or b) like really, really boring, bland, dull-as-dish-water (actually dishwater is bloody interesting compared to MD), emotionless music. If you have tickets, sell them now.

Second thing you need to do is check out the new Truck festival wesbite and marvel at the great photography! Truck.

Third thing you need to do know is that you are all sad losers for how much you all got into that Drunk Guy game! I love how you have no lives, I love that about you. well done. Scarily good scores all round!

Fourth thing you need to know is that I have a Myspace stalker who thinks I have no sense of humour! Now as you all know, I am absolutely side-splittingly hilarious normally, like when someone isn't emailing me 10 times a day and asking me if I have a nose. For this is what he did. Go to his Myspace page and leave him cryptic messages about kicking small dogs. My Myspace stalker

Fifthly, it is Valentines Day next Monday, don't forget cos this would be AWFUL. If you haven't been to my shop to buy your Candy G String or your heart shaped frying pan yet, please do so immediately - these commercial tack, I mean: heart-felt gifts will not send themselves, people! Also the more people buy it, the less I have to be aware if it laughing at me in a taunting way. 'hahahahaaha' it is saying, 'no one loves you, LOSER'. And I say, 'fuck, talking merchandise, whatever next? Nice customers who treat you with respect?! A decent career? escape from Alcatraz/retail? Chance would be a fine thing'

Hello everyone, Tracey sent this to me. It's a German game that is very addictive. Basically you have to get the drunk guy home without falling over by moving your mouse from left to right. It's surprisingly hard. The hillbilly music is quite amusing too. Try it if you're bored!! Drunk guy game