Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Inspired by my purchase today of the 'classic' 1983 album, 'Hell Hath No Fury' by 80's hair metal girl rockers, Rock Goddess, for the staggeringly bargain price of £1.40, I have found these two great quizzes and discovered which Punk Rock and which Rock Goddess I am. It's such a relief to finally know....why don't you do the same and once you've done that go and seek out the Rock Goddess album in your local secondhand music shop, it absolutely rules!

Patti Smith


what punk rock goddess are you?
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HASH(0x87a9898)
Tanja from Lullacry! You're a strong capable
woman, who had to fight for your position in
the band! Go you!


Which Rock Goddess Are You? (with pictures, evanescence, lullacry, lacuna coil, collide) Finally DONE! :)
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Monday, February 23, 2004

This message is brought to you with the back-track of my brother playing along to the Sahara Hotnights on his guitar very loudly in my left ear. Good job they rule. Apparently when they met my brother once they all fancied him! I find this surprising - I thought they were lesbains, ('Katy, just cos a girl can play guitar doesn't mean she's a LESBIAN' - my brother, 'thanks, Will - without you to inform me of these things I'd be a quivering heap of wrongness' - me, strumming my guitar in a Lesbionic manner.) Speaking of which, I am in hiding - people are trying to get me to restart my music career. This sends me into waves of angst and doubtfulness. Squib even found an ad for a medieval goth band that need a female singer and was urging me to call but I fear this ad may be a bit out of date (!!), particularly as they said the only way to contact them was via carrier pigeon or just to meet up at the local jousting competition. Ber boom. hey, perhaps stand up comedy should be my chosen career...my back problems may prevent me from reaching my full potential in this though. So, I went to Squib's exhibition launch on Saturday and was completely underwhelmed by a lot of the work (Squib has promised he will try to do better next time - just kidding he was the best bit) and also failed to 'get in' with any new artist types despite looking my most artistic and saying all the work reminded me of 'David Hockney in his Dali phase' and phrases of the ilk loudly everytime anyone interesting approached! The best part of the evening was when in the pub afterwards our friend Ady misunderstood me saying 'it was good of the guys from T4 to come' (meaning the staff of the local camera shop T4 Cameras - who like HIM by the way so they are automatically the coolest camera shop staff ever) to mean June Sarpong and Vernon Kay of T4 Sunday 'fame' to have been at the exhibition. Ah, the look on his confused face....priceless.

Saturday, February 21, 2004

Well I lost everything on my computer but the good news is...um, well there isn't any good news really. I am having to use my brother's computer and this is in the attic where it is very cold and right now, brother in question is singing Elvis down a distorted microphone in my right ear over the top of what can only be described as a musical toxic explosion (i.e. Alec Empire) a panic attack on vinyl, if you will. I think this is his way to get me off his computer. It's not working. Anyway, I am soldiering on regardless, (oh my god, he's now singing A Bicycle Made For Two...I'll be quick) I just wanted to wish my mate Squib good luck for his exhibition launch party tonight at the highly prestigious Modern Art Oxford. If you haven't got a ticket, you can't come. I have. Ha ha! I am going to put on my most artistic clothes (which is a toss up between the clothes I redecorated my bedroom in which are still covered in paint and a see-through black lace dress/scarves a plenty combo and barefeet. Complete with glasses and the smell of terps....my brother is reading this and shouting 'complete with herpes?' repeatedly in my other ear. I will have to go NOW) I'll let you all know how it went tomorrow. Bye! xx

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

hhhhhhmmmmmmmmm. I think I may be involved in too many Satanic webpages. How do I know? Because my computer literally burst into flames and died yesterday. Yep it actually caught fire infront of my very eyes. As you can imagine, I immediately ran to my crucifix cabinet, grabbed every religious artifact in there and started reciting every scene from the Exorcist 1, 2 and 3. But unfortunately, I think this may have made things worse. Afterall, the Exorcist 2 and 3 are absolute gubbins and the devil was not pleased. Also I think I should have skipped the exorcising part and just turned the bastard off at the mains but hey, in the heat of the moment (and it was VERY hot) I panicked. I am currently waiting for the computer repair peeps (otherwise known as daylight robbers) to tell me if I've lost everything and how many of my organs I will have to sell on the black market to pay for this information. Oh Joy. I think in light of these events, I should consider renaming my blog...any suggestions?

Monday, February 16, 2004

This is a WOS personal ad/emotional plea on behalf of a good friend of mine who is in desperate need of somewhere to live in Glasgow a.s.a.p! If anyone knows of a spare room in a flat/house in the centre or near the centre of Glasgow then please email me, particularly if you want to live with a lovely, funny, cool, Rock-loving (music, not geology) 24 yr old professional female not adverse to the odd beer/cigarette. Speaking objectively and as one of her biggest fans, you couldn't ask to live with anyone more fantastic. So please if anyone has any contacts, get in touch!
Well it's been an interesting weekend what with valentine's messages from Ville Valo mysteriously appearing on this board and the northern leg of the 'Manyeung Reform' campaign kicking off in Manchester on student radio station Fuse FM (thanks to all involved, your cheques are in the post). I have also had my attention drawn to a recent stint of rumours that Manyeung are getting back together on various Oxford music based websites if anyone hears when the first reunion gig is, perhaps you'd be so kind as to let me know. Wouldn't want to miss that...Onto other things, WHAT in the name of Satan and all her minions did the wonderful Scarlett Johansson look like at last night's Baftas?! I mean admittedly I was on my 45th glass of wine of the evening by the time she appeared on the red carpet but strike me down if she wasn't sporting the classic
Pat Butcher lipstick/Marilyn Monroe everything else look! And then kinda turning away from the audience as she won best actress award and pretending to hold back tears! Oh no! We have Gwyneth Paltrow and Nicole Kidman to do that for us Scarlett, we do not need someone with actual talent like yourself turning into one of them too! Stop, for the love of God and get a good stylist too before it's all too late. Also, why did the camera keep focusing in on Mr Miserable Johnny Depp who had the look of someone having his pubic hair plucked out one by one just out of camera shot, for the whole night, perhaps he was worried about Naomi Watts who looked like she may collapse from malnutrition at any time...Ah awards ceremonies they are endlessly irritating and interesting at the same time. By the way I meant to ask, how was everyone's Valentine's days? But if it didn't involve going to the cinema by yourself and then coming home to listen to three students talk about bananas on Manchester student radio, despite not being a student or living in Manchester myself, then I don't really want to know...

Thursday, February 12, 2004

So I was at work today rearranging the Valentine's cards whilst pondering the costs of flights to Finland when I am aware that some bloke in a fluorescent googol and cycle helmet is watching me closely and after a few moments approaches me and says, 'what date does Valentine's day usually fall on?' Now even though I have never actually had the 'honour' of receiving a Vday card or gift of any kind from anyone other than my gran (and even she has stopped sending them in recent years...) so therefore can not claim to have ever felt that Vday was an event in my life worth paying attention to, even I know the answer to this question. I eyed him closely. He had a large gut, thick spectacles, greasy hair and no redeeming features whatsoever. Plus he smelled of vegetable soup. I thought, is it possible to be so unattractive that you never even bothered to find out when Valentine's Day was because it just wasn't worth the disappointment of knowing when the great day was and receiving nothing? Surely this couldn't happen - even if you didn't want to know, it's everywhere. They have you making Vday cards at the age of 5 in schools for goodness' sake. So my conclusion was that he has just escaped from a religious cult and was experiencing life for the first time. I thought, excellent so there's me and this bloke who are joined in solidarity on this matter - perhaps we can get together on Saturday and compare empty mailboxes and smirk about the money we saved on gifts for our loved ones. That'll be nice. So I say to him, 'Valentine's Day usually and always falls on the 14th Feb' and then he bought two cards and a scented candle and I was on my own again. Curses. Damn these religious cult survivors and their active love lives.

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Well it's not often your favourite Rock Icon offers to marry you (or anyone else come to that) but Courtney Love's people have just emailed me to say that I could win a competition to have the Goddess of Rock marry me in Las Vegas! Wooooooooaaahhhhhh. Oh hang on, they don't mean that she would then be my wife, they mean that she would perform the marriage ceremony! Curses. But it's still a highly fantastic offer! If only I wasn't already married to Ville Valo, I could enter the competition - how great would that be? Can you imagine? Courtney Love as your Priest? Well she already is a semi-religious icon to me anyway. I can hear her now welcoming all the guests to the ceremony,' Yeahhhhh, so glad you could make it...' and conducting the ceremony, 'I now declare you Mr and Mrs World now get out of my hooooowwwwwwwuse' and I wonder what my vows would be...have to make them relevant y'know something like, 'i love you, you'll be the biggest dick that I ever held but I won't do your dishes, I'll throw them in the crib...sleep with me, wake up alone - just thought you should be warned' and in the pre-nup agreement, 'go on take everything, take everything, I want you to'. But I can imagine there would be some problems at the wedding reception seeing as Courtney has a tendency to want to be the girl with the most cake. Anyway, if anyone would like to marry me with Courtney love as our Rabi then let me know, similarly if you would like to enter the competition you can read details on her website. Ah, Courtney - so pleased you're back with us...

Monday, February 09, 2004

Hey, well done to Phill Travolta for this review in Drowned in Sound boywithatoy for his lil' side project. It truely is a review to be proud of and I'd just like to know how many times he actually gave anal pleasure to the reviewer in order to secure such 'gushing' praise - or perhaps it was Lee Smilex who provides vocals on the demo doing the honours? It could've been either one of them really or maybe both...at the same time...with dil..ok, that's enough! But my basic point is well done and everyone go check it out and download the tracks..I'm off for some electric shock therapy...

Saturday, February 07, 2004

Ok, stop everything - the world has finally gone mad. The Murder Dolls are on Dawson's Creek at the moment. Yes, you heard right - DAWSON'S BADGERING CREEK. The Murder Dolls. Dawson's Creek. Murder Dolls. Dawson's Creek. Mur...no it's no use, it doesn't make sense, it's not a match made in heaven. It's just wrong. I knew flicking onto channel five whilst lying in bed this afternoon was a bad idea...

Thursday, February 05, 2004

Finally, after a big wait there are two albums coming out that I really want to hear. This doesn't happen very often these days so it's really nice that both ex members of Hole that are embarking on solo careers have decided to bring out their debut efforts in time for my birthday next month (Courtney Love, 'America's Sweetheart' out 10th Feb, Melissa Auf Der Maur, 'Auf Der Maur' out 1st March). Hint, hint, HINT, birthday present buyers everywhere! Anyway, if you are as eager to learn more about both albums as I am then check out their websites (links on the left) for more details. Courtney Love's album has just received 5 bunnies in Playboy which surprised everyone but this was mostly because no one realised that this publication had words and articles in. How highly we should respect the musical opinion of a magazine started by a guy who thinks women dressed as rabbits is the height of feminine attractiveness, is debatable however.
If you fancy testing your own knowledge of the fireball of controversy that is Ms Love, then try this quiz on the VH1 Courtney Love page, Love Page I got 8/10 which to the novice may seem impressive but to me was slightly disappointing!

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Has anyone tried this? It's a section on Google where you can search for googlisms about people/places/whatever you like. A googlism is a phrase written on the internet. After searching, google gives you a rundown of them. I've searched for loads of people and found my brother's googlisms and Ville Valo's googlisms to be the funniest. Also TROT will be over-joyed with their one googlism as it's quite poignant I think...try it for yourself at Googlism and see what's written about you on the net! Or to skip straight to the ones I found, go to Will or Rock of Travolta orVille Valo Let me know what you come up with!

Sunday, February 01, 2004

I have been told by quite a few friends recently that they are living with really annoying people and I sympathise with them deeply. When Bella and I lived in Leicester we had the misfortune of living with the most annoying man ever to walk the face of the earth (and I don't say this lightly) which as you can imagine was quite an endurence test to say the least. With this in mind I would like to draw your attention to this genius of a website made a few years back by some students in Glasgow devoted purely to Shaun, their annoying housemate titled aptly: Shaun is the Spawn of Satan Oh, the memories it has brought back...shudder...anyway, if you are having problems with your housemate(s) and need some advice then you need to read this: 500 ways to annoy your roommate It is the definitive guide of how your behaviour can get them to move out. It suggests everything from becoming obsessed with transformers to levitating to talking to sardines and masturbating over back issues of stream and field. I have only read the first 100 and so far I love numbers 37, 55, 64, 92 and 94. It truely is very funny - I especially find the thought of everytime your housemate enters a room, jumping up and running to have a shower very inspiring (although, this may have been lost on my ex housemate as he was so dense and unobservant that he came home one day whilst me and Bella were up to our elbows in dark purple and black paint, redecorating the living room and didn't notice) . I hope it gives you some ideas too.